LGBTIQ

Intimate partner violence

"What is abuse?

All relationships run into difficulty at some time, but sometimes one partner becomes abusive. The abusive partner chooses to have power and control over the other person. This is not a relationship issue, it is abuse by one person on another. Abuse is behaviours designed to have power and control over another person. It can be physical, emotional, psychological, verbal and sexual. It can also be causing a child to witness the abuse. Signs that the other person may have become abusive:

  • Threatening to ‘out’ you to family, friends or your employer.
  • Controlling your finances and keeping you short of money.
  • Making major decisions without consulting you.
  • Blaming you for ‘making them abuse you’.
  • Calling you names, or saying that you are a bad person.
  • Making it difficult for you to see your friends or family.
  • Threatening to hurt pets, or members of your family.
  • Phoning or texting you all the time to check where you are.
  • Being scared for your safety.
  • Refusing to use your preferred pronoun, or calling you 'it'.
  • Threatening to take the children away or using them against you.
  • Treating you like a servant.
  • Hiding your hormone or, Anti retro viral drugs or any other medication you rely on.
  • Smashing your processions.
  • Taking away your car keys so you can’t go out.
  • Refusing to practise safe sex.
  • Threatening to throw you out of your home."

'You, Me, Us’ booklet, OUTLINE NZ and Rainbow Youth

Sexual violence

"Conceptualising sexual violence against GLBTIQ communities

Individuals (and communities of people) who challenge the dominant norms around sex, gender, and sexuality can face significant levels of violence and abuse of both a physical and sexual nature. Heterosexism is the underlying social climate that allows such abuse and discrimination to occur. Heterosexism may be described as a set of beliefs that privilege heterosexual relationships 'at the expense of non-heteronormative sexual orientations and gender identities' (Leonard et al., 2008, p. 4), and that promote a view:

'… that sex, gender and the relationship between the two are fixed at birth. Men are born masculine, women feminine and sexuality is the gendered, reciprocal relationship between the two.' (Leonard et al., 2008, p 4)

Any 'non-heterosexual forms of behaviour or identity are denigrated, stigmatized or denied' (Mason, 1993, p. 2) under a heterosexist belief system.

Heterosexism is reinforced throughout various social and cultural beliefs and practices, and through social and political institutions (e.g., in law, through family structures and religious beliefs), although social, cultural and legal progress is occurring, albeit slowly in some instances. This social backdrop creates a space for extreme intolerance of GLBTIQ people to arise (Mason, 1993), which can manifest in violence and other forms of abuse and oppression. This may include:

  • Homophobic and transphobic violence: According to Mason (1993), violence can be viewed as homophobic "when its victims are chosen because they are believed to be homosexual" (p. 2), and likewise for transphobic violence or other forms of violence specifically aimed at an individual because of their sexuality, sex or gender identity. That is, it is violence (sexual, physical, verbal) directed at GLBTIQ individuals by perpetrators (usually heterosexual men) because of their "transgressive" (e.g., non-heterosexual, transgender) sexuality or gender identity (Leonard et al., 2008; Tomsen, 2009). Such violence sends "a powerful message of hatred and intolerance" (Mason, 1993, p. 2) to other members of the GLBTIQ communities when it occurs, and therefore has ramifications that extend far beyond the primary victim of the violence.
  • Gender-based violence: Broader gender-based violence refers to, for example, violence committed against female (or female-appearing) members of the GLBTIQ community because they are identified as female (i.e., as part of "everyday" gender based violence against women, rather than as a result of their sexuality or actual gender identity). However, the distinction between gendered sexual violence and heterosexist or homophobic violence is not always easily made. Indeed, female-identified individuals may be targeted as a result of both their gender identity and sexuality.
  • Violence in same-sex relationships. The occurrence of same-sex sexual violence - that is, sexual violence that occurs within the context of an intimate, same-sex relationship - will also be considered throughout this Resource Sheet. Violence occurring in same-sex relationships in not currently well theorised in comparison to other forms of violence occurring against GLBTIQ communities, or sexual violence against women by men, and this will be discussed in more detail."

Australian Centre for the Study of Sexual Assault. (2012). 'Sexual violence and gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, intersex, and queer communities', Resource Sheet

Note: This page was created as pre-reading for the Auckland Regional Networking Meeting, Family and Sexual Violence held at Western Springs in September 2012.